Waking from afternoon nap screaming

Another recent question from my local parents of twins board:

One of my 2 yr old sons on most days wakes up from his nap screaming at the top of his lungs and is inconsolable for up to 30-40 minutes. We have watched him during sleep and it seems to happen all of the sudden - he'll be in a deep sleep one minute & screaming the next. It only happens during his nap time and never during the morning. Our doctor seems to think it's a bad dream or night terrors. Does anyone have experience with this and if so what do you do? My husband & I are usually so frazzled by the end of the episode since he's really inconsolable.

We also have one girl who would awake from her PM nap inconsolable. Our pediatrician said the most important thing was that we do whatever was necessary for us to survive this unpleasant, but temporary, ordeal. Now at 2.5 years, she very rarely does it, or at least not to the same afternoon-shattering degree. Nothing was a reliable fix while it was happening, but giving her ice cubes to suck on (in those little mesh bags with a handle) or getting her outside gave us the most frequent success. Getting in the bathtub with her also sometimes provided some relief. (Anything that dramatically changed sensory input seemed most likely to help.)

It’s hard to think, much less do anything, while your child is screaming inconsolably. And it’s even harder if another child wants to be held and is being upset by the screaming. Having things set up can help -- whether that's the stroller set up and ready to go with milk, snacks, jackets etc, or filling the bath before you even pick anyone up or putting on a video for the non-screaming child while you attend to the screamer. I sometimes would put the screamer in an Ergo carrier (like a Bjorn, but on your back) so she was right next to me but I still had my hands free to deal with the other one or to get out the door. My nerves/eardrums could only handle short spells of that so it was important to be ready to go.

It’s worth discussing the episodes with the child and any upset siblings when everyone feels better. If they are verbal, they can share any fears they might have with you. At the very least, you can explain that you’re sorry, but that sometimes kids wake up unhappy. Let the children know that you will do your best to comfort the upset child, but that sometimes it just takes a little time or a change of scenery to feel better. If you have cried or gotten frustrated, explain your tears and behavior, making it clear that you are not mad at the child.

If it's any consolation, my pediatrician explained it simply as, "Everyone can wake up a little cranky and disoriented from a nap." Perhaps too simple an explanation, but it can be helpful to remind yourself that it will pass. Hang in there.